When you marry, your in-laws become an important part of your life. Your parents and your in-laws are always going to be around you and if even one of them is domineering, your life could become hell. If you wish to enjoy a smooth sailing life, you must first learn how to keep your parents and in-laws out of your relationship without conflict.
When you enter a new family, make all members there a part of your life, you must learn the art of balancing everyone’s needs even as you safeguard your own marriage. It is worth the effort learning how to create and maintain family harmony.
Keeping your husband’s parents
- Involve your spouse in your effort – This is one of the main aspects you must take care of. Working with your spouse will give you added power to deal with any challenge. Work on and resolve any conflict you may have with your spouse before dealing with your parents or in-laws. It is always better for both of you to be in this together.
- If you find your parent or in-law overbearingly difficult to handle, it is a good idea for both of you to have a face to face chat with them. Explain to them politely about how their behaviour is affecting your life and how it would be better for everyone if they refrain from interfering too much. If they find that both of you feel the same on the issue, they will work on changing their ways. Otherwise there are chances they may play on your relationship by talking to your spouse and complaining behind your back.
- It is not a good idea placing your spouse in an embarrassing situation where he or she has to choose between you and parents. Put yourself in your spouse’s perspective and understand the strong bond he or she shares with parents, grandparents and siblings. If you support these relationships, you can enrich your own marriage.
Always treat your in-laws with
Sit with your spouse and set clear boundaries and limits. Aspects such as no giving any loans for in-laws, no taking them out on family holidays and so on must be discussed mutually among partners. This will avoid any undue misunderstanding and issues later. Determine what is important and what is not and communicate your values to your parents and in-laws.