Turning on the Casanova Charm

We all have that one guy we know who can walk into a room and have his pick of women by the end of the night. It can be the most fascinating and downright frustrating experience to watch a true Casanova in action. Here is the great contender among us, we think, and then bitterly rue our luck in having him out there hitting on the ladies. Of course, in the best of circumstances, he can be the ultimate wingman, but even in the worst, there’s something we can all learn from Mr. Charming, and that is when and how to compliment a woman into bed.

Pouring It on Too Soon

One of the biggest ways to ruin your chances with most women is talking too much and trying to turn on the charm too soon. Say you’re at a bar in Leeds; there are couples and singles and groups mingling about the whole place, but watching a true Casanova at work demonstrates that who those ladies are with doesn’t necessarily account for who they’re going home with. Now if a girl’s there with her guy, it’s probably best not to bark up that tree, but in order to catch someone else even just for one night, the worthwhile charmer will at least strike up a conversation if convenient. One of the quickest ways to be labeled a creeper instead of a flirt is to only pay attention to women, and especially those who are clearly on their own. If you want a chance to really turn on the charm, you have to engage all parties. By speaking with couples and women in groups, you establishyourself as social and part of the atmosphere. Moreover, women looking for a one night deal will already start eyeing you because moving between groups shows you are not necessarily there for anyone in particular. You’ve caught the attention you wanted without even trying to charm her and you can keep it by engaging her or her friends… but let them do most of the talking. Another common thing we see all the time when it comes to picking up women is trying far too hard to impress them with your knowledge, your jobs, your hobbies, etc. The man of mystery has success for a reason. Let the ladies talk about themselves. Not only does it give you all the information you want to narrow down who you really want to hone in on, but it allows you an air of mystery that they will naturally attempt to fill in. Unless you’re James Bond, it’s usually better in their heads.

Don’t Compliment Her Physical Appearance

At least, not just yet. When you’re casting about for the first bites of interest, you’re still a ways off of the point when telling someone she looks good is going to be taken positively. Your first interactions are always about her and her friends, the venue, or whatever it is they happen to be talking about by the time you join the conversation. If you switch immediately over to complimenting a woman about her looks, not only have you just ruined your chances with any of the others in that group, but it can come off as aggressive and single minded. Of course you noticed how the dress clings to her curves before you noticed she was intelligent. In one fell swoop you’ve thrown ourselves into the every guy category, and getting out is usually more hassle than its worth. Unless you’ve got a PHD in charm, it’s best to avoid this slip up, even when looking for a one night stand.Instead, wrapping your commentary with compliments more to do with her insight into a particular topic or asking her to elaborate are going to accomplish more of what you’re actually after, which is displaying genuine interest. Additionally, if there is a group of women and it’s not immediately apparent which of them might be interested themselves, engaging in a bit of conversation with compliments to one or two you’re interested in before breaking away for a short while with someone else will generally spark a self-selection process among the group. If you come by again, the interested lady will make herself known, and you can slip away for some private conversation.

Don’t Be Stingy

Offer a drink, but if she’s in a group, offer to buy drinks for all of them. Showing some class is going to win more interest than playing favorites. If it’s a group situation, it’s always best to keep all of your options open for as long as possible. In the end, they’ll naturally separate themselves from their group and you can transition to more intimate conversation. Offer up something different, even if it’s just a separate table or chair in the same place. We often find a small, shared dessert gets them more in the mood, since it comes off gentler. Also, a little food innuendo can help get the point across without being crass. In the end, always run with what’s natural to the situation.

Once Rapport Has Been Established, It’s Time to Be Bold

This may seem like a lot of work, especially if just looking for one night with a woman from Establishedmen, but part of Casanova’s allure is his reputation, and building it up like this will only help you in the long run. Even if you only leave with one girl, you’ve intrigued many more, and if you play your cards right in the sack, frequenting the same spot again will greet you with easier returns time and again. As with everything, a little more effort up front more than makes up for itself in the long run. The same can be said of your lady friend you’ve spent the night charming into some alone time. The whole point here is to make her feel comfortable, curious, and as if she was specially chosen. The extra attention you pay to her now will make her feel as though, even though there was competition for your attention, it landed with her for a reason. This is the time when brushing her hand or touching her arm is going to be far more welcomed. Complimenting her looks here and there now holds weight, because you’ve spent time (and it doesn’t have to have been much) on other topics. This is an easy part to mess up, however, since you don’t want to say anything too crass and shatter the image you’ve worked so hard to cultivate. Leave the dirty talk for the bedroom when you get there, and stick with complimenting how well she wears her outfit or how pretty she looks. Asking her what she thinks of the evening so far is a great segue to asking if she wants to go elsewhere. Throwing in a little sexual innuendo during this phase will get your point across, but you needn’t jump straight to the sack. Suggesting another public location first can help allay any lingering doubts she might be having. Sometimes giving a woman just one night of lurid excitement can lead to a fantastic romp and if done right, it will always lead to more.